A prayer for the loss of a spouse
By Heidi Vegh
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:26
If you are a widow or a widower, welcome to the club. A club in which I certainly never signed but in which I was forced. Losing a spouse is undeniably heartbreaking. The sting of loss penetrates every heart of our lives and every hidden corner of our hearts. We are forced to navigate life alone, without the one person who promised to be there with us.
Everything in our lives is turned upside down, from how we budget, do laundry and shop to how we dream about the future and spend our weekends. Everything comes to an abrupt end. Many will not understand this type of loss that increases loneliness. We may desire to be isolated because we may feel disconnected from the outside world. We feel uncomfortable with other couples and families, as this only exaggerates our loss. We are left to pick up the pieces of a destroyed life in the hope that one day the pieces can begin to fall back into place, creating new life and a new existence.
But even in all of this heartache, we have a loving God who intimately knows our loss and the inevitable heartbreak that follows. He loves us, cares for us, and experiences sorrow with us. We live in a fallen world full of pain and sorrow, but God is greater than anything we experience, and we can trust that he will sit with us in our pain and give us the strength we need. to heal.
The loss I feel is overwhelming. It sucks life straight out of my lungs, leaving me breathless. I feel distant, alone and forgotten. I did not know that such pain could penetrate a human being, even if he still lives and breathes.
Sit with me in my pain, Jesus. Help me to see that I am not alone. Comfort me as only you can. I can’t see a future for myself. I cannot understand a life without my spouse. I deal with feelings of anger, anxiety and depression. I don’t understand why I have to go through this, but I hope you’re bigger than what I’m living.
Your word promises comfort in times of sadness. When you walked the earth, you experienced grief and loss. You suffered on the cross and are no stranger to pain. Help me feel your presence. Help me see beyond the daunting loneliness and begin to imagine a new life. Comfort me, Lord. Give me peace while I rest and help me not to relive the trauma that binds me to fear. Help me see past this pain and put a smile on my face once again. Lead me to new life, new love, new experiences and a new existence as a survivor of a life changing loss.
I believe that the earthly pain I am suffering is nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed when I too am with you in heaven. (Romans 8:18) You are my only source of strength. Help me not to rely on the first things to numb the pain or prolong my suffering. Help me face all the difficult steps head on, in the hope that there will be joy on the other side.
I know you have a plan for me in my pain. I believe you will be with me as I rise from this grief and begin a new journey of healing. You will use this pain for your glory and use me to comfort others who are going through this horrible loss. Help me connect with others with similar loss. Lead me to a community I can rely on and trust.
When the time is over, help me look back and see your hand in building my new life. Help me heal well and be filled with the hope that is only found in you. I can do everything through you Jesus who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13) Amen.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Photoboyko
Heidi Vegh is a writer, speaker, and ministry leader living in Gig Harbor, WA. She is a remarried mother of four, navigating blended family life after the loss of her first husband to cancer in 2013. She aspires to use her writing as a way to encourage others who have suffered loss and guide them on the path to recovery. She contributes to her blog found at thebreathingmama.com, sharing stories and devotions of faith stemming from her loss and healing, her motherhood, and her blended and complex family. She graduated from Southern New Hampshire University with a degree in Creative Writing and English and is working on her first book. Heidi is the Women’s Ministries Director at Gig Harbor Foursquare and has a deep heart for sharing Jesus with women and encouraging them on their journey of faith. When she’s not writing, she enjoys travelling, reading, crafting and experimenting in the kitchen. To visit him Facebook and Instagram (@breathingmamalife) for more.
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